Just Because You Look Like Mariska Hargitay, Doesn't Mean You Should Be VP

Sarah Palin f*ing terrifies me. I don't know if it's her "sexy librarian" glasses, or the fact that she named her kid with Down Syndrome "Trig." Maybe it's the fact(s) that she's an NRA lifer who used to hunt moose with dad before school in the morning (who didn't?). Or that she's staunchly pro-life and supported a constitutional amendment banning gay marriage and only happened to give Alaskan gay couples partner benefits by default. She's a former Miss Alaska runner-up, with a BA in Communications, who doesn't mind drilling in the National Wildlife Refuge for oil.

Hopefully, Senator John of the Dead will finally pipe down about Obama's "lack of experience" now that he's chosen a first-term governor to be his running mate.

Oh, and her oldest kid's name is Track. Along with Al Qaeda we can all wait in terror for the day the Palin kids (including Bristol, Willow, and Piper) all descend on the Vice President's House for a day of reckoning over their names.