hitting the fan

I used to joke about being the most accident prone person on the planet and then 2009 rolled around and I realized the time I broke my arm playing dodgeball and broke my leg tripping on a twig were nothing compared to the tremendous physical cosmic joke going on in my life right this very minute. Let's take a look, shall we?

1. 12/30/08 (basically 2009): Fell down the stairs, broke elbow, massively bruised right butt cheek, placed pride firmly in check
2. 2/1/09: Broke foot walking.
3. 2/5/09: Slipped disk falling on the ice and, later, bending over to put on one shoe (since other shoe was in a foot cast that made me look like an extra in I Am Sam).
4. 3/6/09: Found out that the reason my eye is tearing and feels like it's got most of the world's sand collected in the lid is because I scratched my cornea. How? Blinking. Literally. Apparently "very dry eyes" can actually tear themselves apart...or something like that. Regardless, I went to get my prescription at my local CVS where people cleared a path for me since I looked like the ocular equivalent of Typhoid Mary.

When I can finally use both of my eyes I will write more. For now...Cyclops. Out.